Wife opens the door to the fridge and realizes there is only one piece of her yummy cookie cake left.
Wife:: Someone had some cake yesterday huh?!
Husband:: YEAH I DID!!
Wife opens the freezer to find some ice cream.
Wife:: Where's the ice cream?!
Husband smiles and turns his head to the side in a look-how-cute-I-am way.
Wife:: Are you serious?!?! Ughhhh....
Husband:: AND... I put whipped cream and caramel sauce on it!!
Wife:: (no response)
Husband:: I am AWESOME!!
After sitting down to indulge in my amazing triple chocolate cookie cake,
I the Wife looks up and asks my her sweet husband to get her a glass of milk.
Husband:: Ohhhhhhhh I drank all that too! (Laughs hysterically rolling on the floor)
Wife:: (seriously) Go to Homeland and get me some milk.
Husband:: No!! You're the one who's supposed to keep the fridge stocked!! I've cleaned all weekend!!
of his life.